And baby makes five...

I have been meaning to get this entry posted for weeks, but haven't had the gumption to get it done for some reason. Maybe it's the fact that I'd rather be squeezing out every minute of sleep possible these days, rather than sitting in front of a computer screen late at night. You see, the baby arrived 3 1/2 weeks ago on a Friday afternoon, so we have been operating on little rest, running on fumes so-to-speak.

Boy, did this baby come quick! I get the call from the wife on a Friday at 2:00 that I might want to start making my way home, as the contractions that have been running off and on sporadically since morning are now about 10 minutes apart....serious, but not terribly by most cases. So I get home at 2:45 (I was away from the office) and she is much more progressed than the last time I talked to her, and she is very emotional. I call the mid-wife and tell her "game on", and she is on the way. Meegan is pacing and breathing through the contractions in the beedroom while I am starting to get things ready....making the bed, getting out the supplies from the birth kit, etc. Our good friend Tracy L. shows up for support and photo-duty and suggests that meegan lie down to try to slow the contractions. Just then, the mid-wife walks in and comes around to the side of the bed. Then suddenly, BAM! Meegan's water breaks and there is the crowning head...out he comes in a matter of seconds....all 9lb 8oz and 22 inches of him. He's HUGE! And PERFECT!! The time is 4:00. Meegan recalls that she didn't even consciously push....her body and the baby did the work. All I can say is, she is a super stud...unbelievable!! I can't respect her enough for what she is capable of.



Samuel Isaak Rahlen Kliewer....baby brother to Madelyn and Benjamin. And they are loving all over him. It's cool to see how well they've taken to him. We just have to watch it with Ben because he is still learning what "gentle" means, apparently. We're all adjusting just fine and are enjoying our family of five. Samuel already has a plethora of nicknames...Sammy, Little Red Sambo, Saminator...on and on. Despite the workload that comes with a newborn, we're having lots of fun!



I've talked to a few people...friends, acquaintances...who are intrigued by the decision to home birth, but who think we're either crazy or risky or both, usually. But it makes a lot of sense to us. I've said previously that I won't get on the birthing soap box and I won't. But I just believe, after much consideration, that medical intervention can sometimes...not always (every thing has its place)... propogate more intervention and lead down a road that many birthing mothers would not have chosen for themselves. I want to stay far away from generalizations, however, some doctors and nurses for some reason seem to have a great fear of just letting the body do it's thing. I'm sure it's the whole malpractice issue. Home birthing with a qualified and trustworthy mid-wife, and a hospital/doctor back-up plan, takes that problem out of the picture. The mother is free to labor and birth her baby however and wherever she feels is right for her and her body...peacefully and quietly...much better for the wellfare of everyone...mother, baby, and father too. The baby is born into a stress-free environment, not bombarded by blinding lights and poking, prodding medical staff......instant skin-to-skin contact with mother, which is so important. I think that the medical community mindset tends to treat childbirth as a medical emergency, a condition that requires treatment, rather than the totally natural occurence that it is. This is strange to me, as I know that these people have all had children of their own. All I'm saying is that people have been having children naturally at home with mid-wives for thousands of years. And Yes, I know that lots of women and infants throughout this history died from complications that may have been prevented. I'm not saying that we blindly insist that it happen at home and we don't consult doctors at all. We see the doctor during pregnancy more than the mid-wife and have everthing in place for a trip to the hospital, should we need it.

I said I wasn't going to get on a soap box....oh well!

Ok, here we go.......again

Baby number 3 is due to arrive in 4 weeks, but likely less, based on track record. So the wife and I are trying to get ready. Oh, we are physically ready...the crib is in it's place, the newborn clothes are washed and in the dresser by the crib, the birthing kit is delivered (more about that in a minute) and all the "things" for the baby are situated. I'm talking about getting mentally ready.

We are constantly finding ourselves stuck in this mode where we are micro-managing our kids....just getting on top of them for every little thing. I don't know why we do it. It's like we think for some reason that we should be able to completely control all actions and responses from them....like a couple of good little robot kids....no fuss, no muss. We let our frustration levels rise so quickly over things that, in the bigger picture, really shouldn't matter.

I would have to say that, for me, this has been one of the most challenging areas of parenting; realising that yes, they are their own person and have their own wills and aren't always going to act the way I want them to. And really, this is good and natural. But can I get a little cooperation once in a while. please??? That's all I'm saying. But seriously, it has been hard to repeatedly let go of some of my unrealistic ideals of how things should take place with regard to parenting. Is it selfishness on my part? Why do I expect that my kids should do everything I tell them instantly and without any questioning or arguing? That's an ideal world, not this one. Sometimes I wonder if it's because I haven't put enough fear in them. But how crazy is that? What kind of father would that make me? I want my kids to want to be around me for as long as possible. Someday, they won't be as excited when I get home from work, so I have to enjoy every minute of it now.

Getting back to baby #3, the bottom line is this; there will be MUCH less room for the mirco-managing once Meegan and I are outnumbered. Switching from "man-to-man" to "zone" coverage, as my buddy TL put it the other night.

So I'm bracing for the added demands on time, energy, attention, etc. that are inevitably coming with the new baby. Not just from the baby but from Maddy and Ben as well. When it seems to be such a challenge to deal with just the two them, how is it going to be with one more? We are going to have to back off a little on the two and relax if we want to maintain any sanity with three, I suppose.

Ben is still making his way into our room at some point during each night to sleep in his "special bed", a comforter on the floor at the foot of our bed. How is he going to feel about his new baby brother being with mom and dad every time he comes in? When Ben was an infant, I remember Maddy coming in early one morning, looking at us and saying, "Why is that baby always in your bed??!" Pretty funny. We do the "co-sleeping" thing with our babies, which is really cool, except for the fact that, since I am much heavier than Meegan, the baby almost always ended up under my shoulder from sliding in my downhill direction. I was constantly moving Maddy or Ben back to the center of the bed so I didn't squash them.

Ben was born at home in the bed, in the quiteness and peacfulness of our warm, lowlit home, with Maddy and close family at hand, and a super awesome mid-wife taking care of Meegan. This next one will be born here, as well. I can't recommend the experience enough to anyone considering a home birth. I'm not going to get started on all the reasons to try to limit medical intervention. I can leave that soapbox for someone else.

Anyway, after all of this rambling and spilling of jumbled thoughts, it comes down to this; Meegan, I , Maddy, and Ben will just adapt to the change...embrace the change...enjoy our family of five! After all my trepidatious complaining, I can honestly say that I'm excited to see this new life emerge and to see how the family dynamics change....again.

Aaahh...that takes me back

So the way I see it, there are two types of people in this world. There are people whose lives are infused with music....they are moved by it and many of their memories can be triggered by some song or another. Certain feelings or moods are easily aroused by certain types of music. Certain activites call for certain songs or genres. These people live music and there is no separating it from them.


Then there are those who may appreciate music, may even have a favorite song or two, but for the most part, they just think music is "ok". They don't get to crazy about it and they may not even ever have the radio on in their car, unless it's some talk show. These people are moved in ways other than music and are not so affected by the sound of it. For the most part, it's just not that important a part of their lives and they could take it or leave it.

Me?.........I am definately in the fist group. In fact, I'm the president. I have the perfect song for every possible moment in life. I could write soundtracks and make millions.


So I'm driving home from work....got the iPod plugged in to the stereo, which is always just a hair below ear-bleed level (yes, I am losing hearing....that's why I have to keep turning it up!), and a song comes on that instantly transports me to another time and place. I am sixteen years old, braces, pimples, flaming red hair, shy as heck.....all the qualities that every beautiful young girl is searching for (it's called sarcasm).....full of raging hormone, teenage angst, melancholy moodiness.

The song? "Head Over Heals" by Tears For Fears. Gets me EVERY time.

No one single song wraps up my early puberty years like that one. You may think, "I don't get it. Why that one?" The answer is, "I don't really know." It was just a song that I really liked that came along right at that time in my life. Very formative years. I can listen to it now and groove along to it because I just like the song, but I can also listen to it and I'm amused at the way it brings back those teenage memories and feelings....lonely, insecure....the way I'm sure lots of kids feel at that time of their lives....even the "popular" kids with lots of friends....if they're really honest.

Anyway, It's amusing because I've come a long way in the last 2+ decades and I'm a lifetime away from that person I was.

It's good to grow up. But sometimes it's fun to look back, especially when you're more happy with who you have become!

I am SOOOOO putting this kid to work...

It turns out that Benjamin would rather play with drills, saws, hammers, and tape measures then just about anything else...REAL ones,,,the toy ones are quickly rejected. "I love to work", he says, and jumps out of his skin every time I head to the shop to get ready for another project. As soon as this kid is tall enough to push the mower (which won't be long), I'm cuttin' him loose! More power to him. The trouble is that I can't keep him out of my tool box and so I'm chasing my stuff all over the back yard. He runs behind me into the shop as soon as the door's open and looks all around...

"I neeeeeed.....THIS...for my project!"

"What project do need a crowbar and a hacksaw for, Ben???"

"My project!!"

"Oh, let me know how it turns out. Just don't cut your arm off, ok?"



Getting Ready for Little Brother


Maddy and Ben are practicing in preparation and anticipation of their new little brother due to arrive in late October/early November. Maddy has it down, but you can see Ben needs a little more coaching. Oh boy....
They're very excited to have a new brother. Trouble is, we have not a clue what his name will be. Maddy definately has one picked out, but I just can't seem to buy it 100%. It's going to interesting what happens. Madelyn and Benjamin were named after 3 months in the womb. For some reason, we are completely stumped with this one. He will probably get his name after he's been breathing oxygen for 2 weeks.



Going to "Big Kids School"

Maddy started kindergarten at Hamilton yesterday. What a change for her from her pre-school scene. Not so surprisingly, however, she is totally stoked and ready for it. I think she has been so bored lately that this full schedule will do good for her...and us. I'm predicting that a slight improvement in over-all behaviour patterns may follow. I'm hoping, anyway.

The Legacy Continues (maybe)

We sent Maddy to piano lessons this year and she did alright. She definately has a talent and a very musical ear. But I got out the bass the other day to dust off the cobwebs (haven't been playing for a while) and she took to it like it was the greatest thin ever. I have been secretly hoping (not so secretly now, I guess) that one of my kids would be into the bass. Well, we'll see where it goes from here. She's five, after all. Kids go through changing likes and interests more frequently than they change there underoos.

End-of-vacation blues

Got to go spend a few days at the coast last week with family and had a great time. The kids did really well, especially at night. It amazes me that we can have so many bed-time problems at home, but get in the trailer and go somewhere and everything is fine. Then we come back home and start in on the same old bed-time issues. Go figure.


Coming home was rough. Maddy was VERY sad to be packing up and going home. I remember going through the same depression every time camping was over when I was a kid....still do to some extent. I just don't cry and whine and throw myself on the floor (even though maybe I might feel like it). It seemed like Ben was ok with it, since he is only 2 1/2 and doesn't really get it yet. BUT, tried to get him in bed after we got home and he started crying, "I wanna sleep in the trailer!" I guess he gets the end-of-camping blues too.

All in all....it was a fun trip, we always have a good time, even though it seems like an immense amount of work at this time in our lives. But every time we go out, the kids are a little more autonomous, a little less in need of constant supervision. One of these years, we may actually be able to sit in a lounge chair in the middle of the afternoon for a whole hour!

Mmmm.....yummy

cake.....mmmm.....cake




(I know what you're thinking....."What the...?!" So I like cake, alright?!)

Switching Gears

So this year I decided to take up the sport of Bike Racing after a break of roughly 18 years. I've always been a cycling fan in those 18 years, just haven't always been a cyclist, if you know what I mean. I started racing when I was a teen-ager and was only competitive in a few races. Most of the time, I was getting dropped in the early part of the race. So this was a mild attempt at finding some redemption. I thought maybe I would do one or two races this year. One or two turned into about 13 or 14. I got dropped on a couple of them as before, but for the most part this year, I was in there for the duration. No impressive finishes, but I would say that I found a little redemption. I had a blast doing it and helped a friend get a new racing team off the ground in the process (see link to "Vapor Racing).


I've also been a bass player for the last 16 or so years. But when I decided I was going to pursue bike racing this year, I put the bass away in the closet. It hasn't seen the light of day since last November. Now the bike racing is pretty much tapered off, at least with regard to events that I would consider entering. It feels like it is time to break out the axe again and start brushing up on my chops. I miss it. I felt at the time that I needed a break and only wanted to concentrate on one thing at a time for a while. Maybe I'll succumb to the pleas of a couple of good freinds (you know who you are) who are always up for a good jam session. Our jam sessions in the past usually involved getting all the instruments set up and then somebody saying, "Hey, lets go drink beer", which of course we did. But that's what made them great!

It's just for a season....right?

I have to constantly remind myself that certain things that tend to drive me crazy or wear me me out, with regard to my children, are just fleeting moments that will disappear into the mist in the blink of an eye. My 2-year-old son insists that mom or dad lay with him in his bed at night-night time until he is asleep. Please don't get me wrong...it can be endearing and I certainley don't mind doing it. Just not everytime, and not when it's demanded. Mom and dad want their own time after 8 o'clock. But if we try to put him off, we are still dealing with him at 10 o'clock, about the time that my 5-year-old daughter sits up in bed in a half-awake, half-asleep diorientated fog, crying out a string of uninteligible garble until we go in, physically lay her back down, rub her legs until she yawns, rolls over and goes back to sleep. Now it's 10:30...11:00 and mom and dad are spent. The nightly routine as of late. But like I said...I will be saying tomorrow, "Remember when the kids used to want us to lay in their beds?" Better to just roll with it and have grace on them. Besides, they're just so darn cute! The pursuit of successful parenting has got to be the most unselfish act anyone can ever do (I did say "successful"...anyone can bring children into the world...am I right?).

What's in a name?

Been trying to find out what my last name means by definition. After quite a bit of searching on the web, came to find out the origin is Dutch and German (my family's nationality) and means "hangman" or "torturer". I couldn't be less like this last name....the Executioner! Ya, that's me. All the people with this name (Mennonite's) left the country and immigrated to Prussia in the 1700's. Also means "swamp" or "whiner". Good stuff, huh? My wife had to rub it in by saying, "Hope there's no Doug or Wendy in your family tree!" (Any 70's SNL fans in the house?) Thanks, dear...

"Is this thing on??"

Post 1 - Never been into the idea of blogging, but decided to give it a shot. Here goes nothing....