Baby number 3 is due to arrive in 4 weeks, but likely less, based on track record. So the wife and I are trying to get ready. Oh, we are physically ready...the crib is in it's place, the newborn clothes are washed and in the dresser by the crib, the birthing kit is delivered (more about that in a minute) and all the "things" for the baby are situated. I'm talking about getting mentally ready.
We are constantly finding ourselves stuck in this mode where we are micro-managing our kids....just getting on top of them for every little thing. I don't know why we do it. It's like we think for some reason that we should be able to completely control all actions and responses from them....like a couple of good little robot kids....no fuss, no muss. We let our frustration levels rise so quickly over things that, in the bigger picture, really shouldn't matter.
I would have to say that, for me, this has been one of the most challenging areas of parenting; realising that yes, they are their own person and have their own wills and aren't always going to act the way I want them to. And really, this is good and natural. But can I get a little cooperation once in a while. please??? That's all I'm saying. But seriously, it has been hard to repeatedly let go of some of my unrealistic ideals of how things should take place with regard to parenting. Is it selfishness on my part? Why do I expect that my kids should do everything I tell them instantly and without any questioning or arguing? That's an ideal world, not this one. Sometimes I wonder if it's because I haven't put enough fear in them. But how crazy is that? What kind of father would that make me? I want my kids to want to be around me for as long as possible. Someday, they won't be as excited when I get home from work, so I have to enjoy every minute of it now.
Getting back to baby #3, the bottom line is this; there will be MUCH less room for the mirco-managing once Meegan and I are outnumbered. Switching from "man-to-man" to "zone" coverage, as my buddy TL put it the other night.
So I'm bracing for the added demands on time, energy, attention, etc. that are inevitably coming with the new baby. Not just from the baby but from Maddy and Ben as well. When it seems to be such a challenge to deal with just the two them, how is it going to be with one more? We are going to have to back off a little on the two and relax if we want to maintain any sanity with three, I suppose.
Ben is still making his way into our room at some point during each night to sleep in his "special bed", a comforter on the floor at the foot of our bed. How is he going to feel about his new baby brother being with mom and dad every time he comes in? When Ben was an infant, I remember Maddy coming in early one morning, looking at us and saying, "Why is that baby always in your bed??!" Pretty funny. We do the "co-sleeping" thing with our babies, which is really cool, except for the fact that, since I am much heavier than Meegan, the baby almost always ended up under my shoulder from sliding in my downhill direction. I was constantly moving Maddy or Ben back to the center of the bed so I didn't squash them.
Ben was born at home in the bed, in the quiteness and peacfulness of our warm, lowlit home, with Maddy and close family at hand, and a super awesome mid-wife taking care of Meegan. This next one will be born here, as well. I can't recommend the experience enough to anyone considering a home birth. I'm not going to get started on all the reasons to try to limit medical intervention. I can leave that soapbox for someone else.
Anyway, after all of this rambling and spilling of jumbled thoughts, it comes down to this; Meegan, I , Maddy, and Ben will just adapt to the change...embrace the change...enjoy our family of five! After all my trepidatious complaining, I can honestly say that I'm excited to see this new life emerge and to see how the family dynamics change....again.
